Heart Break update
Its been a while since I’ve written anything, I guess I was stuck in a funk and its affected me more than I had imagined. After leaving that job I found it hard to find work for about 2 months considering I had been accepted into the dental assisting program back home in CT. He and I both knew that me going to school would be for the best even if that means moving back home for a while. However, I had no idea it would turn out like this. I guess I should have seen it coming but there’s nothing I can do about it now so there’s no point in dwelling over it. We untimely just have different dreams for the future. He wants to be young wild and free, adventure and explore and there’s noting wrong with that. Whereas I want roots, a family, a steady career and a home with someone who shares that same dreams as me. We had pushed this under the rug for a while but ultimately it could not be ignored any longer. We loved each other enough to let each other go, so that we can be happy. Its not right for me to ask him to give up his dreams or for him to ask that of me. Let’s look at it this way, if he were to give me kids, which he clearly does not want, he would be tide down and miserable and end up resenting me. On the other hand, if I had given up my dream to go travel but never have the family that I envision just to be with him, I would eventually resent him. It would not be fair to one another. As heart breaking as it is, we loved each other too much for that to happen. I understand that everything happened for a reason. I was given some advice recently by his mother who has been an incredible role model, she said “A very wise man once told me that people come in our life for a purpose for a time. We take everyone we meet and learn and grow with what they give us (good or bad)”. This spoke to me, because I do not regret the past, at one point in time he was exactly what I wanted and needed, I’m so thankful I had him during this part of my journey and that I have learned so much from all of this. He was my comfort zone, and I was happy because of him. This is not healthy. He once told me that there is no room for growth in our comfort zone, you’ve probably heard me say this before and it truly has become a motto of mine. I was not growing, I was stationary and comfortable, and now that I don’t have him or my comfort zone I can grow and learn from this. Amazing how a traumatic experience can change a person, it can be for the better or for the worse but its how we handle the situation. I’m so glad I surprised him in my resilience and my ability to show him I will be ok. His mom was right all along, she knew I was strong before I even did. I have both of them to thank for the lessons. …… so, for anyone else out there going though a tough time, please take a deep breath, put on some music, cry it out but when your done try not to cry again. I say this because now you have the strength to be better then you were. Also, don’t cry over someone who doesn’t want to make things work out with you, there not worth your tears. Hang out with your girlfriends, eat some carbs, go for a run, play with your pet and the world will keep turning. We will be okay. What we can make ourselves believe we can achieve and our thoughts will manifest into a reality. My reality is that I will go to school not to better US but to better MYSELF. So, I can be the best version of myself, and make my dreams come true. Make a plan, stick to it, be strong because I know you are.